Sunday, March 01, 2009
It's Been A While..
Now I'm a firm believer in God.. His power, His favor, and His omnitrifecta (omnipotence,omnipresence, and omniscience) but lately even my faith, which I thought was super strong, has been tested. It's not that I don't believe in God it's just that I'm struggling to see what he wants me to do. I mean, those who know me know I have a problem sitting still. I do a lot because I've been blessed with many gifts that make me well equipped to use those gifts for good. With that being said this phase of being still and waiting on God is really tough for me. I know I'm not working where I will ultimately be in my career, I also know that I'm not using all the gifts he's given me either which leads to this exteremely frustrating position of feeling like your not doing anything at all. I don't know I mean maybe I shouldn't complain. I make good money and have a cool title (whatever Senior marketing executive means..lol) which most poeple would be happy with. I guess that's the problem.. I've never been most people. I can feel the call God has on my life and although I don't know exactly quite what that looks like yet, I know it's something. I guess I need to be patient. It's just hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Do you ever get like that?
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I feel the same way myself, which lead me to ask if a person can be grateful and unhappy at the same time. My job for example, I'm completely over it and very unhappy. With the economy as it is today, I am very blessed and thankful that I still have a means to pay my bills, but being in a place where you are unhappy takes a toll on you and totally drains you. I could find another job, but what? If I knew what my purpose was or my passion, I would jump at it in a heartbeat. Since I don't know what that is I feel like I'm waiting and waiting with no relief to come.
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